Look, I'm going to square with you I don't know much about Indy, I'm an f1 fan who, I'll be honest, always thought that Indy was actually piss easy and driven mainly by failed drivers who couldn't do well in f1

Then Takuma Sato won and proved me right.

But seriously. We need to look at the race and see what makes it better than f1, steal the best bits then point and laugh at those silly stuck in their ways Americans.

Firstly the pageantry. The traditions and weird shit that on Britain we have no idea about, mainly because of bt sports coverage which was like watching three accountants all agree on a minor point on accounting for three hours.

But the milk, the military shit, the flypast, the kiss from the Indy princess. Hang on a minute. What the fuck what that, it was like being at some village fete where suddenly the mayor comes into the MORRIS dance all blacked up and people just say that was traditional.

But what do any f1 races have? Get the drivers to stand in a line for the anthem and if you're in Abu Dhabi have a giant fucking plane fly over. The tv coverage doesn't even give lip service to events on the ground in f1 unless you count David coulthard trying to dry hump everyone on the grid.

The race is fast, the sound is blissful the crashes are spectacular and the camera angles, long a bug bear of mine, make the cars look terrifying. There's visor cams. VISOR CAMS and everyone looks as if they're enjoying themselves

What do we get? That sweeping shot where it looks like everyone is doing 20mph, a few slow mo wobble shots (which are so so fucking dull)

And then there's the pit stops. Two blokes doing all the tyres then just flinging the gun away. Won't that break it? Look after your toys! And zero urgency. I'm only annoyed that Mclaren couldn't find it in the rules to bring a full f1 pit team to show how it's done.

AND RACE OFF PIT ROAD ISNT A FUCKING THING

While I'm at it, this silly 'safe' rule about overtaking. It's so English. Excuse Me dear boy, I'm going to overtake you now. Please do!

There's so much skill in 230mph oval racing and when it goes wrong it really does but just having this unable to defend shit is what makes me think it's piss easy.

But don't worry, I have a solution

Look, Indy is indy. It's had its ups and downs but it's got in place in history and f1 shouldn't fight it. I can't ever imagine having an Indy team come to f1. The cars can't be designed for one race and the egos wouldn't allow rebadged existing teams. But Mclaren and Alonso have shown it can go the other way. And I think the FIA should work to make this happen. Maybe not as far as making it an f1 race again but at least free up some of May for those that want to.

Or bring back an Indianapolis GP. Have it run the week after. Or wait. Run it with f1 cars at the same time. The f1 lot have to do the tricky infield whilst the others go round the oval. Jesus Christ I've done it again.