Goodbye Halo, now we have a shield - essentially that bit of transparent lego that ends up buried in the carpet waiting for the soft flesh of a parent’s foot.

This is the first sign of weakness from Liberty Media, by allowing a third option for head protection to just be mandated without any flair or discussion is exactly the Bernie way of doing things.

And it’s such an awful compromise, its basically just a big helmet visor in front of the helmet and its own tiny visor.

This week the powers that be have mandated that numbers and driver names have to be massive on the cars, why not go the whole hog and just mandate the helmets to be fucking huge to fit the new shield visor?

But to solve this problem (which I will) we need to work out exactly what the problem is. The definition of F1 is down to two things, Open cockpit and open wheels. What does this mean really? That there’s not a big bubble over the driver or a tin roof, because otherwise how will you know it’s an F1 car? Well if having your head waggling about just asking for debris to hit it is so fucking important then why bother with a fucking helmet at all? How many of the current f1 drivers would opt to not wear a helmet if they didn’t have to? None of them thats who. So quit whining about how some plastic protection looks silly and man up and use an open face helmet made of leather like what drivers used to wear.

The other problem with open cockpits is it’s a nightmare for aerodynamicists who hate having the driver bobbing around ruining their precious airflow. This is the biggest argument against head protection yet, as anything to piss off aerodynamicists is worth it, as it’s been proven time and time again that they fuck everything up.

Don't worry, I have a solution

Sometimes to look forward we must first look back. How do we solve the problems of necessary head protection and also doing a fuck you to the aero people? Pill boxes. Like what was used in the war, I propose the cockpit being covered in a massive perspex dome, but in the most aero unfriendly shape possible, and to keep the ethos of open cockpit racing there will be a large eye slit in the front. The wind will still hit the driver and it will further screw up the aero. On top of this the cockpit cover will be so strong we won’t need helmets so we can see the drivers heads, just like I’ve always wanted. And if the wind going through the hole is too much then they can just wear a visor.

Or lasers, tiny lasers that zap debris that comes close. Shit that’s a great idea. No helmet or cockpit cover, just one of those purple lights you used to get in chip shops that zaps flies, but modify it to zap carbon fibre shards and gravel.