Let’s get this straight, I’ve idolised the Williams F1 team since I was a kid, all my heroes drove for them, Nigel Mansell, Damon Hill, even Ayrton Senna, briefly

Their slide into the doldrums of F1 was depressing to watch and good old wheelchaired Sir Frank Williams has always been a bastion of how to get things done.

Then the Film “Frank” came out, all about a fictional version of Frank Williams with a Paper Mache head and played by Michael Fassbender. But in the last few weeks, however, the sequel to Frank has come out. Simply called ‘Williams’. in which we learn all about the man himself, what makes him tick and how he sleeps at night.

Spoiler alert - Frank Williams is a right cunt.

We learn in the film that he’s from a poor family, mixed with a bunch of posho’s, nicked their accent, drove some racing cars not terribly well then nicked some blokes girlfriend and married her, not that she’d know as he fucked off after the ceremony then kept fucking other women until literally he couldn’t because he was a paraplegic.

The film mainly takes place from the point of view of Ginny, his now deceased wife, who had left a bunch of tapes of interviews with a friend when she was working on a book in the 80’s called “A Different Kind of Life” subheading: FRANK I AM SUFFERING WILL JUST JUST FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME YOU TIT, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING TO HAVE TO WRITE THIS AS A BOOK TO GET YOU TO EVEN NOTICE WHAT A PRICK YOU ARE. Through these tapes we learn that Frank was a disaster at running his own team in the 70s and only stayed afloat by Ginny lending him money she’d never get back and that he was basically a laughing stock in F1. When Walter Wolf came in and bankrolled the team he got so sick of Frank that he fired him then went on to win their first race.

Perhaps most people, having been shit at something for years, would think it’s time to throw in the towel, but this is one thing I share with Sir Frank and off he went to make another team WITH THE VERY LOUD PATRICK HEAD that he called “Williams”

In this time he was screwing around but ginny don’t mind because this was the 80’s and weird looking men were expected to be fucking everything that moved and she was the wife and should just keep writing cheques and not at all in any way deal with issues or acknowledge that anything exists.

Then in 1986 the tragic car crash, Terry, is this where you’re going to get sympathetic? NO. He admits to driving like a cunt ,everyone who got in car with him thought he was a dangerous driver and its only a minor miracle that passenger on the day, Peter Windsor, didn’t get killed. In a modern interview Frank says he used to get GetHomeItis where he’d try and set a record to get back from a circuit. What a cocking bellend.

The film ends with a scene where Claire Williams (daughter and chip off the kid block who is posh and has banished her brother to tinkering with old cars with a man named Dickie.) reading from her dead mothers book about how her own father won’t open up or acknowledge anything and with Claire crying, me watching crying and all the film crew crying Frank does a wince like he’s had a paper cut and then does a face like he’s pissed off no one has put the kettle on

the close of the film is a horrible moment where on an extended camera shot we watch old man frank doze off in the back of the garage before being woken by an F1 car starting, as though even the directors were hoping he’d actually die during the filming, not just because it would make a good end to the film but because he is an irredeemable shit

Mark Kermode, if you’re after a new reviewer I’m free on tuesdays.